Resisting the Temptation To Stay Comfortably Numb And Conform In Mid-Life

After reading Kathy Gottberg’s blog on Carl Jung and the Art of Aging well, I came across her blog on mid-life comfort and the choice of adventure and possibility over conformity, safety and comfort.

Kathy has a few questions for us to ask ourselves:

  • When was the last time you did something that felt scary or pushed your limits beyond what you routinely do most days of your life?
  • Do you constantly make choices that support comfort in your experiences or do you try to mix that up with challenges?
  • Do you ignore the pain and plight of anyone outside of you family and friends out of a need to “keep what’s yours safe?”
  • Do you routinely self-medicate and go numb in order to deal with what’s going on in the world?
  • Do you avoid all risk even when things aren’t that great because, “The devil you know is better than the one you don’t?”
  • Do you secretly crave to do/be/try something new and different but don’t want to rock the boat?

South Africa and the world is becoming increasingly uncertain – we never quite know what tomorrow will bring and what midnight changes there will be. It is not always easy to jump into scariness, adventure and risks in that environment and we prefer to stick to what we know.

But sadly, at the same time, more and more of our friends are dying far too young. Author and palliative care nurse Bonnie Ware shares the number one regret in her book ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying’ “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

“Dwelling in middle-aged comfort, nonconformity asks us to wake up, become more conscious, and be willing to sacrifice all our preconceived certainties for the potential of what lies out of sight.” – Kathy Gottberg

So I challenge all mid-lifers to choose adventure and possibility whenever you can and live a life true to yourself – and try not to worry about the judgement of those who would prefer you not to.

 

10 Toxic Habits that Drain your Energy

As you all know, I am at a stage of transition and flux and need to re-invent parts of my life.

I have just had a 3 month gap period doing quite a lot of travelling. It was fantastic and unsettling, but now my new life needs to begin.

It is a wonderful opportunity for growth – I have the opportunity to begin practicing new habits, work differently, take up new hobbies, and interact with different people. For the first time in a very long time I am able to put myself first – and that is very liberating! I know that there are going to be difficult and challenging times ahead, but I also know that with the great support system I have, that those times will pass.

Tim Maurer says: ‘The nature of life’s major transitions – specifically the changes and surprises that come with them – are a breeding ground for failure. Some are inconsequential while others come with great risks, but most come as a result of our limitations. We err, and in order to move forward we must extend grace to ourselves and to the others on our journey’ 

Mark Chernoff writes about 10 toxic habits that drain your energy. These are great to apply to your everyday life –  but I believe even more important when you are in a stage of transition.

 

5 Things to Remember When You’re Stuck and Desperate for a Change

I am at a huge transition point in my life at the moment – it is scary but deep down inside I know I will be fine. Apart from trying to lose attachment to any form of outcome, what has helped me immensely is regular practise of TRE (Tension and Trauma Release Exercises).  TRE has given me a greater sense of calm and inner peace, increased emotional resilience, less anxiety and worry, I feel more grounded and have a stronger spiritual connection.

For anyone who feels stuck and does not have a real sense of how to take the next step forward, Marc Chernoff gives some reminders to help you along on your journey of change – 5 Things to Remember When You’re Stuck and Desperate for a Change.