Resisting the Temptation To Stay Comfortably Numb And Conform In Mid-Life

After reading Kathy Gottberg’s blog on Carl Jung and the Art of Aging well, I came across her blog on mid-life comfort and the choice of adventure and possibility over conformity, safety and comfort.

Kathy has a few questions for us to ask ourselves:

  • When was the last time you did something that felt scary or pushed your limits beyond what you routinely do most days of your life?
  • Do you constantly make choices that support comfort in your experiences or do you try to mix that up with challenges?
  • Do you ignore the pain and plight of anyone outside of you family and friends out of a need to “keep what’s yours safe?”
  • Do you routinely self-medicate and go numb in order to deal with what’s going on in the world?
  • Do you avoid all risk even when things aren’t that great because, “The devil you know is better than the one you don’t?”
  • Do you secretly crave to do/be/try something new and different but don’t want to rock the boat?

South Africa and the world is becoming increasingly uncertain – we never quite know what tomorrow will bring and what midnight changes there will be. It is not always easy to jump into scariness, adventure and risks in that environment and we prefer to stick to what we know.

But sadly, at the same time, more and more of our friends are dying far too young. Author and palliative care nurse Bonnie Ware shares the number one regret in her book ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying’ “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

“Dwelling in middle-aged comfort, nonconformity asks us to wake up, become more conscious, and be willing to sacrifice all our preconceived certainties for the potential of what lies out of sight.” – Kathy Gottberg

So I challenge all mid-lifers to choose adventure and possibility whenever you can and live a life true to yourself – and try not to worry about the judgement of those who would prefer you not to.

 

Enneagram

I have just been on a 4 day training course on the Integrative Enneagram Questionnaire (IEQ).  The Enneagram is a sense making map that describes the nine fundamental personality types of human nature and their complex interrelationships. With the IEQ you are able to pinpoint your Enneagram type and this can be used in your development journey and pursuit of goals. The Enneagram leaves room for the uniqueness of every individual and helps you to evolve into the best version of yourself. The Enneagram shows you how small you have made your own box and how to get out of it.

Each personality type represents a worldview that resonates with the way in which people think, feel and act and how they stand in relation to the world, others and themselves. The Enneagram will help you understand what drives your own unconscious behaviour, and will give you greater awareness of your motivations for certain habitual responses. We have the qualities of all nine types in us but one of them affects us more than the others.

For more detailed information on the nine Enneagram personalities read this long but informative article by Shira Atkins.

Please contact me if you would like to book an Enneagram assessment and coaching session.