The Physical and Emotional Process of Dying

My dad was one of the few people who met my son Timmy.

After one of Timmy’s ‘heart attacks’ my dad gently cradled him, took him for a walk and gave him an acorn from one of the trees of Vergelegen Estate. Timmy died a few days later aged two weeks.

Twenty four years later it was his grandson Michael who gently supported my father and walked him slowly from the lunch table on the way back to his home. After that time with my dad I never saw him walk again and in January 2019, a month and a bit later, he died.

The Five Non-Linear Stages of Grief

Elizabeth Kubler Ross devised the five non-linear stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. We go back and forward through some or all of these. It took me two years to get to an acceptance of Timmy’s death.

Many people disagree with those stages. The stages I went through with my father’s death were immediate acceptance, relief for him that he was no longer suffering, relief for myself that I no longer had to watch him suffer, and then finally a deep sadness.

I have found myself re-grieving Timmy through my dad dying – wondering whether the two of them have reconnected in the after-life.

Understanding the Dying Process

When my dad was dying, the Wits Hospice, who were fantastic, gave me a link to a book ‘Crossing the Creek‘ by John Holmes which helps people understand the dying process. In his book, Michael Holmes gives a general description of what we can expect to encounter during the dying process as people transition from life into death.

This book really helped give me a sense of peace while being with my father as he died. If you are going through a similar experience, I would urge you to download the free book here:

How do you Increase Your Level of Consciousness and What is the Benefit of Doing So?

The consciousness level we are at is equivalent to the lens we use to see reality. Our perceptions, beliefs, mind-set, and values are a result of our current level. Whenever we shift up in our level we change our belief system and attitudes.

Consciousness affects our vibrational level and what we attract into our life. Increasing our level translates into a fuller and richer life. Heightened consciousness not only increases our awareness about ourselves, but also how we impact the world all around us.

The most important work we can do as human beings is to raise our individual level of consciousness. When we do this, we spread higher levels of consciousness to everyone around us.

Imagine what a better world this would be if we could at least get everyone to the level of acceptance.
At the level of acceptance a person lives in harmony and is forgiving. A person is aware of the social constructs present in one’s life, whether family, society, nation, religion, or work. One sees situations without distortion or misinterpretation and is discerning. One honours equality and there is no discrimination and intolerance

How to increase our consciousness:

  1. Eat healthily and avoid chemicals and processed foods as much as possible, as these can act as an internal consciousness block.
  2. Exercise – this helps unblock stuck energy and raises endorphins.
  3. Meditation helps you to access your higher consciousness, control your mind and gain inner awareness.
  4. Stay inspired – be aware of the music you listen to, books you read and television you watch.
  5. Use affirmations to help you to stay focused and also to change deep seated negative beliefs. Quantum Energy Coaching helps shift negative subconscious beliefs.
  6. Spend time in nature – this generally makes people feel calmer and more at peace, which can elevate levels of consciousness and awareness.
  7. Approach life with an open mind and be more tolerant of diverse beliefs, opinions and activities. Exploring and broaden your own perceptions of reality.
  8. Be compassionate.
  9. Spend time with positive people who are living fulfilling lives – sharing thoughts, ideas and experiences.
  10. Focus on what you have right now, whether it is good health, friends, family, your home, your work, food, or other things and be grateful for the positive things in your life.
  11. Live in the present. Practice being present, here and now, in this very moment.
  12. Creativity is great for increasing your consciousness. Explore your creative side by spending some time doing an activity that allows you to express creative ideas.
  13. Set aside time to spend with yourself, in relaxation, with no other distractions and enjoy the silence.
  14. Practice TRE (Tension Releasing Exercises) and release tension from your body.
  15. Be aware of your emotions, but do not let them rule you. Accepting your emotions helps to disperse them more than trying to fight against them.
  16. Release your fears – stop worrying about things that you cannot change, or ruining the present moment by worrying about the future.
  17. Follow your dreams, reach for your goals and live the life that you want to live. Consciously think about every decision you make and ensure that you are making them for you and not just following what other people want you to do.
  18. Open yourself up to new experiences, people, and situations. Seek new opportunities to learn and grow.
  19. Take responsibility for every action that you take.
  20. Be authentic and don’t be afraid to show people the real you. Open your heart and inspire others by living in your truth. Strive to say what you mean and mean what you say. Stand up for love and truth.
  21. Finding our gifts is truly a gift – seek to find what you are great at that you can contribute to better the whole of the planet.
  22. Be of service to the planet and all sentient beings.
  23. Laugh and do activities that bring you joy.
  24. Follow your inner guidance and intuition.
  25. Have a consistent spiritual practice.


What Is Consciousness And What Level of Consciousness Are You At?

Being conscious is more than just being aware. Consciousness is a state of knowing that encompasses the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual parts of ourselves.

The consciousness level we are at is equivalent to the lens we use to see reality. Our perceptions, beliefs, mind-set, and values are a result of our current level. Whenever we shift up in our level we change our belief system and attitudes.

Consciousness affects our vibrational level and what we attract into our life. The higher we go, the higher our clarity of what the world around us entails. In reality nothing about our life or the world has changed  – all these changes are coming from just a change in our consciousness. Increasing our level translates into a fuller and richer life.

The most important work we can do as human beings is to raise our individual level of consciousness. When we do this, we spread higher levels of consciousness to everyone around us.

Dr David Hawkins, an internationally renowned psychiatrist and consciousness researcher, developed the Map of Consciousness® from millions of kinesiology muscle testing calibrations spanning 30 years of multiple research studies. With a logarithmic scale of 1 to 1,000 the Map of Consciousness® explains the classification and characteristics of different energy fields making them easily comprehensible and useful in daily life.

By identifying where you are on the scale of consciousness now compared to where you want to be, the map helps you monitor your progress. While we can pop in and out of different levels at various times, usually there’s a predominant “normal” state for us.

It is important to realize that the calibration figures do not represent arithmetic but a logarithmic progression. Thus, the level 300 is not twice the amplitude of 150; it is 300 to the tenth power. An increase of even a few points therefore represents a major advance in power.

Distinction of levels of Power vs. levels of Force

Hawkins segmented the consciousness into two main categories: one based in force (less than 200) and one based in power (greater than 200).

People in levels of Force vibrate in fear-based emotions. They inclined to exert control over others or themselves (oppression, force, coercion, manipulation, and violence) to achieve their desired outcome.

People in levels of Power vibrate in love-based emotions. They are in tune with themselves, aligned with the present moment and the universe, and respect fundamental human and animal rights. They use positive leadership and actions to bring about desired results.

Overview of the Map of Consciousness

Below Courage – Conscious States that Suck Energy from the World

  • Shame 20 – Someone at this level feels humiliated, has low self-esteem and feels worthless. A person’s life view at this state is misery and cruelty is often found.
  • Guilt 30 – Feelings of blame and remorse hover in this level. Outside forces are blamed for situations. This level cultivates destruction and vindictiveness.
  • Apathy 50 – There is a state of despair and an abdication of a person’s capacity to act. A person feels hopeless and feels they cannot change their situation. They are needy and dependent on others.
  • Grief 75 – Feelings of regret and despondency abound here. The life view is tragic. There is more energy in grief than in apathy.
  • Fear 100 – A state of anxiety and worry.  One views anything uncertain as fearful and so withdraws from the world.  People take action to protect themselves and to resist losing the things that they value.
  • Desire 125 – People crave things that they believe are missing in their lives.  They are quite active in pursuit of their goals. Desire includes the insatiable quest for material possessions, status, power, love, and belonging. One becomes looped into enslavement at this level because desire is a never ending emotion. Addictions are outputs of desire. There is disappointment when one cannot obtain what one desires.
  • Anger 150 – The emotion at this level is hate. Anger expresses itself as resentment, frustration, even revenge. The life view here is antagonistic, where one is hostile, unfriendly, and acts in opposition against others. Because anger is a highly charged feeling, someone who channels this energy constructively will move up to the next level and create positive change.
  • Pride 175 – This level of consciousness leads to a constant defense of my being ‘right’, so others must be wrong.  Highly demanding of myself and of all others around me.  High risk of scorn of others.  The pride relates to an underlying denied set of fears. Pride takes root in dualistic views such as elitism, nationalism, racial pride, factions, religion, as well as pride based on possessions and career achievements. At pride, one undergoes inflation of ego rather than being objective.

Above Courage – Conscious States that Contribute Positively to the World

  • Courage 200 – At the level of courage, one feels affirmed and sees the world as exciting and filled with possibilities. A person becomes empowered and takes ownership of their situation and begins to take steps to improve it.
  • Neutrality 250 – A person becomes trusting of life and themselves. For example, it is ‘okay’ if you get the job and ‘okay’ if you don’t. The life view is satisfactory, where anything goes. These people are easy to get along with, however they are difficult to engage towards causes and visions because they are detached towards everything.
  • Willingness 310 – Optimism and hopefulness runs high here. At willingness, the individual is open to do anything and everything and has an intention to participate in life. They are genuinely friendly, are helpful towards others and contribute to the good of society. Self-esteem is high. The difference between willingness and the levels below it is that at willingness, one is passionate about doing things well rather than just doing things.
  • Acceptance 350 – One lives in harmony and is forgiving. A person is aware of the social constructs present in one’s life, whether family, society, nation, religion, or work. One sees situations without distortion or misinterpretation and is discerning. One honours equality and there is no discrimination and intolerance.
  • Reason 400 – At its purest level, reason and the intellect represent increased reality testing and non-emotional respect for truth. People look for meaning in life. The emotion is understanding and rationality. However, someone at this level falls into the trap of over-intellectualization in concepts and theories.
  • Love 500 – reason is of the mind, whereas love is of the heart. This represents unconditional love – love that is pure, unfaltering, unwavering, not subjected to any external condition. Reverence is the main emotion in this level of love. At this level, duality becomes an illusion; the feeling is one of entirety that rises above separation. Unconditional love is inclusive of everyone and expands beyond self. According to Hawkins, only 0.4% of the population (1 in every 250 people) ever reaches this level.
  • Joy 540 – A state of serenity and compassion where creation is perfect. Everything happens effortlessly and with synchronicity. There is inner joy that arises from every moment of existence rather than from an external source. This is the level where saints, advanced spiritual students and healers dwell. At this level, one is characterized by enormous patience and an unwavering positive attitude in the face of harsh adversities. Individuals are motivated to dedicate themselves to the benefit of life rather than for specific individuals.
  • Peace 600 – A state of bliss where life is perfect. At this level, there is no longer any distinction between the observer and the subject. People here become spiritual teachers and great geniuses in their field to effect great contribution for mankind.  Perception becomes one of slow motion, suspended in time and space. Everything is perceived as interconnected by an infinite presence. The process one undergoes is illumination. Hawkins claims that this level is only attained by 1 out of 10 million people.
  • Enlightenment 700 to 1000 – The highest level of human consciousness, where humanity blends with divinity. Extremely rare. The level of Krishna, Buddha, and Jesus.



Empowering our Youth

“The route through childhood is shaped by many forces, and it differs for each of us. Our biological inheritance, the temperament with which we are born, the care we receive, our family relationships, the place where we grow up, the schools we attend, the culture in which we participate, and the historical period in which we live–all these affect the paths we take through childhood and condition the remainder of our lives.” Robert Wozniak

I have just witnessed the graduation of 189 young men aged between 18 and 25 from Chrysalis Academy. Chrysalis Academy is an initiative of the Western Cape Provincial Cabinet, established in 2000 at Porter Estate, Tokai. Its founding was a response by the Provincial Government to the high crime rate in the Western Cape, which is one of the highest among the provinces in South Africa, especially due to substance abuse and an active gang culture in Cape Town’s mainly disadvantaged communities. Some of the young men come into the program having very little awareness and consciousness of their choices in life, but after the initial 3 month live-in empowerment training that focuses on the individual’s physical, emotional, mental, energetic and spiritual development they are able to understand and apply Dr Wayne Dyers quote:

“Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make. Period.”

The message the CEO sent them home with when they left the safe environment of Chrysalis Academy was – ‘To all our graduates and their families – we must remember that individual transformation is a lifelong journey of rediscovery which requires perseverance, patience and compassion and we must be sufficiently brave to embark on this journey and navigate the stormy waters that we will all encounter in our lives.’

I salute Chrysalis Academy for the wonderful work they are doing! For more information on Chrysalis Academy go to