Stop Setting Hard Deadlines and Enjoy Your Way To Your Goals

Happy New Year!

For those of you who missed my previous blog on pushing less and trusting more, here is a very similar article on reaching your goals. Enjoy the read and may 2016 treat you well.

Stop Setting Hard Deadlines and Enjoy Your Way To Your Goals  

Push Less and Trust More: The Stress-Free Path to Your Goals

As we wind down from 2015 and enter into 2016 we may be beginning to formulate our New Year’s resolutions and set our goals for the year ahead.

I believe that making resolutions and goal setting can sometimes be counterproductive as it asks us to hold ourselves accountable to forces outside our control. If we do not achieve our goals or keep to our resolutions we may consider ourselves a failure.

We cannot predict whether our actions towards a goal will produce a desired outcome – there can be ‘unintended consequences’. So sometimes we just need to take small exploratory steps that will produce a change of some sort – either towards our preferred future or not. We may find that something new, something unexpected and every now and then something fantastic may happen.

Unlike a goal, a small step is not something to achieve or fail to achieve – it is just something that one takes or not.

In the article below Ash Blankenship writes about letting go of our desires and changing our attitude to allow us to become more receptive to life’s greatness.

Push Less and Trust More: The Stress-Free Path to Your Goals

What is Happiness?

Everybody wants happiness, nobody wants pain, but you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.”  Unknown

What does happiness mean to you?

Defining happiness can seem as elusive as achieving it. We want to be happy, and we can say whether we are or not, but can it really be defined, studied and measured?

Martin Seligman, one of the leading researchers in positive psychology and author of Flourish – A New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being, has developed the PERMA Model. “PERMA” stands for the five essential elements that should be in place for us to experience lasting well-being. These are:

  1. Positive Emotion (P)

For us to experience well-being, we need positive emotion in our lives. Any positive emotion such as peace, gratitude, satisfaction, pleasure, inspiration, hope, curiosity, or love falls into this category – and the message is that it’s really important to enjoy yourself in the here and now, just as long as the other elements of PERMA are in place.

  1. Engagement (E)

When we’re truly engaged in a situation, task, or project, we experience a state of flow: time seems to stop, we lose our sense of self, and we concentrate intensely on the present.This feels really good! The more we experience this type of engagement, the more likely we are to experience well-being.

  1. Positive Relationships (R)

As humans, we are “social beings,” and good relationships are core to our well-being. Time and again, we see that people who have meaningful, positive relationships with others are happier than those who do not. Relationships really do matter!

  1. Meaning (M)

Meaning comes from serving a cause bigger than ourselves. Whether this is a specific deity or religion, or a cause that helps humanity in some way, we all need meaning in our lives to have a sense of well-being.

  1. Accomplishment/Achievement (A)

Many of us strive to better ourselves in some way, whether we’re seeking to master a skill, achieve a valuable goal, or win in some competitive event. As such, accomplishment is another important thing that contributes to our ability to flourish.