As you all know, I am at a stage of transition and flux and need to re-invent parts of my life.
I have just had a 3 month gap period doing quite a lot of travelling. It was fantastic and unsettling, but now my new life needs to begin.
It is a wonderful opportunity for growth – I have the opportunity to begin practicing new habits, work differently, take up new hobbies, and interact with different people. For the first time in a very long time I am able to put myself first – and that is very liberating! I know that there are going to be difficult and challenging times ahead, but I also know that with the great support system I have, that those times will pass.
Tim Maurer says: ‘The nature of life’s major transitions – specifically the changes and surprises that come with them – are a breeding ground for failure. Some are inconsequential while others come with great risks, but most come as a result of our limitations. We err, and in order to move forward we must extend grace to ourselves and to the others on our journey’
As we wind down from 2015 and enter into 2016 we may be beginning to formulate our New Year’s resolutions and set our goals for the year ahead.
I believe that making resolutions and goal setting can sometimes be counterproductive as it asks us to hold ourselves accountable to forces outside our control. If we do not achieve our goals or keep to our resolutions we may consider ourselves a failure.
We cannot predict whether our actions towards a goal will produce a desired outcome – there can be ‘unintended consequences’. So sometimes we just need to take small exploratory steps that will produce a change of some sort – either towards our preferred future or not. We may find that something new, something unexpected and every now and then something fantastic may happen.
Unlike a goal, a small step is not something to achieve or fail to achieve – it is just something that one takes or not.
In the article below Ash Blankenship writes about letting go of our desires and changing our attitude to allow us to become more receptive to life’s greatness.
People often ask me how I manage to work with trauma, especially in this wonderful but violent country that we live in. Results of several studies show that trauma does not need to be shattering and debilitating and that most people are resilient and even grow in the wake of a trauma.
The Post Traumatic Growth Inventory developed by R Tedeschi and L Calhoun in 2006 measures positive outcomes reported by persons who have experienced traumatic events. These positive outcomes include:
new possibilities that have arisen from the trauma
improvement in relating to others
personal strength improvement
greater appreciation of life
In the video below Dr Megan McElheran speaks about how we need to stay engaged in both our inner world and the outer world so that we can begin healing from a trauma.