20 New Ways to Measure Success

One of the most inspirational woman I have ever known is Mercy May, a 58 year old lady who has been working part time for my family for the past 20 years. Mercy has had a limited education, she lost her parents when she was quite young, she adopted her alcoholic sister’s son and brought him up as her own, she forgave and took back her unemployed and cheating husband who died a few years later, she is often supporting random members of the family who stay with her, she lost a grandchild in a shack fire, and she has just agreed to raise a 3 year old family member whose mother died recently. Through all of this she has managed to smile and keep a positive attitude to life and a trust that God will give her strength to get through what she needs to. She is one of the most trustworthy, strong, kind, and open hearted people I have ever met – she has very little but is so generous with the little she has.

The two of us have laughed together, cried together and celebrated together – I think the best way to describe our relationship is that in our very different ways we are mothers to each other. My children love and respect her and she somehow manages to get them to do things that I am unable to.

If we had to measure Mercy on the 20 new ways to measure success that Joshua Becker recommends, I believe she would be doing a lot better than most of us.

Post Traumatic Growth

People often ask me how I manage to work with trauma, especially in this wonderful but violent country that we live in. Results of several studies show that trauma does not need to be shattering and debilitating and that most people are resilient and even grow in the wake of a trauma.

The Post Traumatic Growth Inventory developed by R Tedeschi and L Calhoun in 2006 measures positive outcomes reported by persons who have experienced traumatic events. These positive outcomes include:

  • new possibilities that have arisen from the trauma
  • improvement in relating to others
  • personal strength improvement
  • spiritual change
  • greater appreciation of life

In the video below Dr Megan McElheran speaks about how we need to stay engaged in both our inner world and the outer world so that we can begin healing from a trauma.